A few short months ago I dropped into a chatroom on Paltalk I had previously ignored. I was just fed up with hearing the same thing over and over again in most rooms. Here, the host never spoke, and typed seldom: it became apparent quickly, though, that argument and controversy were not welcomed, and the finger was never far from the “bounce” button for argumentative types and “room raiders.”.
Despite my intentions, I got mixed up in some random pointless stuff with a female room member. A warning was issued by our host, but the stuff continued. I fully expected to be chucked out. As a male, in arguments with females my version of events has rarely been believed or even examined, and actually I was coming to believe that I was actually missing something about my behaviour, and that I was really to blame .
What happened was that the female got bounced, not me! Can you understand how shocked I was when that happened? I just couldn’t believe it. Could it be that what I had said was OK after all? I returned the following day to spend more time in the room. I didn’t have to listen to endless discussions, I could just sit and relax where I seemed to have been accepted. Bliss.
I began spending more and more time in the room. I felt embarrassed how much time I was spending in there, actually. I created a new nickname so I wouldn’t be disturbed. I hung out on the rooms webpage so I could hear the music and be there but no-one would know. It was becoming weird. It was like I couldn’t stay away. So, I took a deep breath and told Corvus, hoping it would be OK.
He knew, of course. This is how it works, he said. The draw, he calls it. Those who are supposed to be here really can’t stay away.
And you shouldn’t try.